I like you with a cigarette. You’re easy like coffee
Warm as a cappuccino, when it snows
And fulfilling as hot chocolate, when it’s cold.
I like you like a cigarette,
You’re my beginning, my end
I don’t need excuses to remember of you
And you are an extension to my own existence.
There is no pain
No additional energy required
For your self is as innately distinct, clear and evident to my self as my own thought.
You bring the best of me to the surface.
You’re the accelerator of my own chemical reaction
You’re the unneeded reason to smile.
I don’t need you – at least I think I don’t
But somehow life without you wouldn’t be the same… today, I can’t picture my days without your constancy, without the immutable variable of your music, of your smile, of the creases forming in the corners of your eyes, of your clenched jaw and fists – when you’re angry, and how I love the way you hold me when I need it – and I don’t need to tell you anything for you to know_
That my house feels empty without you
And my existence has no meaning without you
And there is no point to cook for one
And no one to wait in the bus station with
What am I supposed to come home
To no one
No one to beg not to leave
No one to make the last phone call of the night
No one to sleep by my side
And no one to fall asleep to, on wintry March’s rainy days
And it is so saddening, downright unfair that I mustn’t stay.
It’s been a year, and a lifetime and a week without hearing from you.
And the sins crossing your lips bear the plausible array of sanity,
As your eyes, they gleam with the unsounded numbness oozing from your soul.
Sickening cold, it is
Without you hovering by my side.
I cherish you, but I know that in time
You’ll be the World’s, and not only mine.
It has begun, between it and you…
Throughout all the nonsense we’ve been through
Somehow, somehow we were able to keep the undefined characteristic of remaining deeply
Involved, enrolled, embedded, entwined
And what’s breaking is your side, but isn’t mine.
Or is it really?
For you’ve been patient, not once judgemental, always present although you are there.
Who’s turned off the phone, then?
The magnitude of phone-lines stretching the Ocean… make me want to go
So, should I run?
Should I go and meet your fears
Your unshakeable indifference towards life
Sprinting careless around you
Just when you take a hold of yourself, and grab the Universe with two hands…
It seems fairly easy to say, but now the time has come…
Wind grazing the ground with torn leaves of Autumn.
November’s final cut.
It is cold. But it gets colder when you’re not around.
I love you entirely.
and you saved me without even knowing.