Graphic Lyrism vol. II

The rain makes no sense without you.

The sun shines dimmer when you’re gone.

My notion of being dawdles around, as I count the days until we meet again.

Thundering

Numbness.

The idle seem to fade, as they walk on by without_

Emptiness.

Your empty, stripped bed.

Your white linen mocks my loneliness

Your smell… it fades

And goes

And I run away to get a hold of… of your voice.

I reach to you

I hold your hand and tell you not to be afraid.

Like a cane,

Like the fortress of your strong, established self.

Like the soothing aid that rises to meet your pain

Like me. Just me. Simply my unconditional self that I offer, on a daily bases.

Where once it was warm, now there is nothing but glacial desperation

And a cooling mattress.

We had time…

There was time.

There was no time.
It didn’t matter.

I remember the intimacy of soft-spoken words bejeweled with devotion.

Yearning

and conformed solitude.

What is left?

What is left… is

That

that I dissolve in the placid endeavor of letting you go.

Is that

Joy?

When you tell me all about your life

And when you hear all about mine

And when you wonder when will I return

I stay silent.

…hush…

For the only thing that is even similar to happiness, the sole thing in this strange, menacing world that can make me

Breathe

(Amidst this all)

is both your handsome smile

and your stern, solid face.

It is the magic that oozes from you when you focus

And try

And strive

And win

And conquer your inner aspirations.

It is the overall security

The full reassurance

The one true home that I find, in you.

(I long for your... presence, sprawled over some armchair like you were part of the furniture.

I dream of you, and your moony poise as you caressed everything around you with a single, sweet, attentive hand motion.

I sometimes come to the extreme of seeing you, lying in front of me, reading pensively and losing track of time.

It figures...)

You know,… your sheets do look ridiculous without you in them.

Without you being here, at all.

Why does everything seem so scarily preposterous, and fastidiously absurd… I don’t know.

Nor will I ever.

I love you entirely.

and you saved me without even knowing.

Graphic Lyrism vol. I

Leave me.

Love me.

Don’t – go.

Hold me.

Hug me.

Kiss me... don’t.

If I ever stop this wandering and senseless cogitation, would you still take me as I hypothetically was, and if you did, would you be the same?

I want to_

Run away with you, without minding anyone else.

Everyone else.

Myself.

The others.

You… but I do care.

I’d cross the world for you, and the worse thing is that you know it. You like it. You allow it. You enable it. You

If only you weren’t so easy to love. So perfectly comfortable, unadjustedly fit.

If only I had never known you, the deepest corners of your self, the most profound and unattainable thoughts that go from your mouth to your eyes

To your absentminded face.

How I love your sad face,

Your melancholic gaze,

Your laughing face,

Your focused gaze,

Your

Hands.

Your hair. The smell of your skin. The soft touch of your lips. Your melting smile. The creases forming in the corners of your eyes.

I beckon you over. And over again.

You come.

You leave.

I fight back the urge to stay with you.

In a rhyme

In a chorus

In a cry

In my trivial everyday preoccupations.

I linger, embedded in our everlasting, never-ending conversations.

I wait

I linger on your silence.

And I adore your nostalgia.

Your momentarily off-putting despair

And the way you overcome your frustrations.

I dwell in the airy twinge of unease, trespassing from your trembling jaw:

Your fears.

Your faithful uncertainty *and blank emotions*

Do you remember

Stillness.

The moment when your eyes meet mine

The way we broke down time

The passion, the enthusiasm…

The childish euphoria of careless synchrony.

And then to wish you goodbye

-  and having the strength NOT to miss you.

Our hot, sunny days

Rainy mornings

Chilling nights

Warm bodies

Engirdled synesthesia

And years, and months, and weeks, and days, and hours

And seconds of sheer indebted joy.

Why is this clarity so

Raw?

Viciously

Cruelly

 Paradoxal.

Oh, I bade you to let me

set you free

For I will die before seeing you entrapped

-  even if enmeshed in my ethereal, uncompromised, utter [sigh]

Don’t… speak.

Look at me –

Not.

Not, anymore.

(and I brush off the honesty given away by your devoted stare)

For… since you… I am whole.

With you, without you, just because of your centred, beautiful existence.

I love you entirely.

and you saved me without even knowing.